Don't Call Me That
by Gindokei
Summary: He just wanted to protect her from himself. Why couldn't she see that? "I'm tired of you thinking you're the only one who can fix things." Pointless Allen/Lenalee. First DGM fic. -Only read till chapter 177!-
1. Afraid

_Don't Call Me That_

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_"Oh, Allen-kun!"

The silver-haired boy turned slightly at the sound of his name, a wry smile playing across his face. No one else called his name with such a mixture of surprise and mild annoyance.

"You're back," Lenalee smiled as she approached him. Her short hair was in disarray – _had she just returned from a mission, too?_ – and she looked sleepy. He resisted the urge to reach out and ruffle her hair fondly. Lenalee was such a _child_ sometimes.

"Yes, I'm back."

"Welcome home," she spoke almost automatically, pausing when she was a few steps away from him. "How did it go?"

He shrugged – the case had ended in a satisfactory manner. There wasn't much to say about it.

"It was all right."

She cocked her head at his tone of voice. He saw the uncertainty in her gaze, and silently prayed that she wouldn't comment, wouldn't look at him with those worrying eyes and gently ask if he was all right. To his utmost relief, she seemed to decide that she'd imagined it and offered him another small smile.

"I'm glad to hear it. Brother wanted to talk to you about something… I think he was in the records room. Shall I take you there?"

"Yes, please." Allen still hadn't gotten used to the new Headquarters – the building was large and beautiful, but it didn't feel like home, not the way the previous Headquarters had. He'd felt comfortable there, safe, even. And now…

_Maybe it's just because you didn't know about what you are when you were there._

"Allen-kun?" Lenalee stared at him with a puzzled expression. "Are you all right?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah, I'm fine." He shook his head slightly and made a big show out of cleaning his ears out with one finger. Lenalee continued to stare at him for a few moments before laughing aloud in delight.

He stopped abruptly, his stomach jumping. _Not now, not now!_

"I'm not really used to this new you, Allen-kun," the female Exorcist commented with a grin, "but I'm sure I'll get used to it eventually." She beckoned to him with one hand. "Now come on, Brother tends to get impatient these days."

"Yeah, okay." He trailed after her, making sure to stay a few feet behind her. His eyes were immediately drawn to the crystal rings around her ankles – he'd noticed, with growing disturbance, how his gaze was often drawn to Lenalee's new Innocence form. Was there some sort of a meaning behind it?

"Allen-kun," her voice sounded out again, and she sounded vaguely frustrated. "You seem very distracted. Is something wrong?"

"No!" The single word burst out of him with more force than intended. "I mean, no, nothing's wrong," he amended.

Too late. Lenalee's eyes narrowed slightly at the hesitance in his voice.

"I wish you wouldn't keep secrets from me, Allen-kun."

He let out a hiss of breath. "Everyone has secrets, Lenalee."

She tilted her head to one side and studied him curiously. "I suppose so," she finally agreed after a long pause. "Just tell me if it's anything really important, all right? There's no need to keep everything to yourself all the time."

_I can't tell you. No matter how much I want to, I can't._

"Oops! We'd better hurry. Brother's bound to be annoyed now." Lenalee's feet tapped against the ground as she picked up her pace. "Hurry up, Allen-kun."

"Lenalee?" Her name came out before he could react. "Maybe you shouldn't call me –kun anymore."

She paused, clearly puzzled. "Why… why not?"

"Um, because…"

For the second time, Lenalee turned to look at him. "What should I call you, then?"

"Just… just don't call me anything. Please." It was hard to get rid of his politeness, even when he was doing something like this.

Her forehead puckered. "Allen-kun…? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just _don't_." He closed his eyes. "I've been feeling so strange around you lately – it bothers me. I keep feeling nervous and frustrated and anxious and so many other emotions. It can't be right. It doesn't _feel_ right."

Lenalee stared at him. "Allen-kun… I don't think that's supposed to feel bad," she said softly. Not for the first time, Allen noticed how pretty she looked with her shorter hair framing her face.

_No!_

"I…" Suddenly bold, opinionated Lenalee looked shy. "I feel that way sometimes, too. When I'm with you. But it doesn't feel wrong to me."

His stomach dropped.

His hunch had been right.

He had feelings for Lenalee Lee… and she had feelings for him.

_This can't be happening…_

"Listen to me, Lenalee," he spoke gently, stepping closer to her – _because this was going to be hard enough, and he didn't want to make her hurt any more than she needed to_ – "I think you should…" He paused, uncertain about how to phrase what he was about to say.

Her eyes widened ever so slightly, and he saw that she'd guessed.

"Why?" Her voice shook – she'd been crying far too often, and it hurt him to see strong Lenalee in tears – and her probing gaze rested on him. "Why… I don't understand…"

"Lenalee, please…"

"No!" Her voice rose, and her face hardened. "Tell me what's going on, Allen-kun. I've had enough of your games. _The world doesn't rest on your shoulders alone_."

She whispered the last sentence, but he could still hear it, and it shot him through the heart because she was right.

"I don't know what sort of a hero-complex thing you have going on," she continued in a softer tone, "but you're not alone, Allen-kun, and I can't see how you can still think that."

He clenched his left hand into a fist. "Just listen to me, Lenalee," he told her quietly. "Listen to me, and then tell me you think I'm being a bratty child with a hero complex."

"I don't – " Lenalee began to protest, but Allen raised his right hand to silence her.

"I feel strange when I'm around you, I won't dispute that. It's not always a bad kind of strange. But the point is – _am I really the one feeling this?_"

"That's ri – " Lenalee stopped suddenly, her eyes reflecting her realization. "Oh," she whispered.

"I don't think you fully understand the graveness of this situation," he told her. "I have no idea what the 14th is playing at, and I don't want you dragged into this, too. I don't want you to get hurt, Lenalee."

Her eyes began to glow hotly. "That's ridiculous!" she burst out, her cheeks reddening in anger. "Why would he be interested in me, Allen-kun? It doesn't make any sense."

Allen made an irritated noise from the back of his throat. "Get a grip," he snapped, and Lenalee flinched at his harsh tone. "Don't be so naïve! You're the first Exorcist to have a Crystal-type Innocence – why _wouldn't_ he be interested? I don't know if he's playing with my emotions to keep close to you or not, but I don't want to risk anything."

Her jaw line tightened. "I understand your concern, and it's gratifying," she spoke quietly, "but I can take care of myself, believe it or not."

"That's just it – what if you can't?"

"Excuse me?" Lenalee stared at him in disbelief. "What… what are you trying to imply, Allen Walker?"

She hadn't called him by his full name in a long, long time – had she ever? – and it stung.

"I'm not trying to imply anything," he replied in a defeated tone. "I'm just telling you… don't… don't get your hopes up."

The anger faded from her eyes, and a look of bitter amusement replaced it. "Oh, I don't need you to tell me that, Allen-kun."

She turned so that her back was facing him. "Thank you for protecting me, Walker-san. Shall I take you to Brother now?"

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**AN: I wanted my first Allen+Lenalee piece to be nice and fluffy, but, well… ):**

**I could be totally off here – I'm only on chapter 177, after all – so forgive me if anything said disagrees with Hoshino-sensei's plot. I don't know if this has been done before, but I don't have the patience to sift through all the fanfics, so yeah…**

**I know some people see Lenalee as weak and too damsel-in-distress-ish, but I admire her courage and spirit. I also kind of like the fact that she's content to admire Allen from afar. Work comes before love, after all.**

**Please feel free to critique my characterization or anything else! I'd like to ask you to be gentle, but in any case, I'm open to any sort of comments that can help me grow as a writer.**

**1,304 words.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own **_**D. Gray-man**_**. That belongs to Katsura Hoshino.**


	2. Promise

_Don't Call Me That_

**AN: Because I couldn't resist a happy ending, either. (And I wanted to write Lavi!)**

**By the way – I just realized, I don't think Lenalee even knows about the 14th, does she? Oops. Pretend she does? (And if she actually does and I****'ve just forgotten, ignore this.)  
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**Disclaimer: I do not own **_**D. Gray-man**_**.**

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**When Allen emerged from the records room, Lenalee wasn't waiting for him. Even though he hadn't expected her to – he'd hurt her, and she was obviously not going to get over it easily – it still pained him to walk to the cafeteria of the new Headquarters alone.

Of course, there was also the fact that Allen _still_ wasn't sure where the new Headquarters' cafeteria even was.

Listening to the tapping of his feet as he walked down the hallway, Allen's mind returned to the conversation he'd just had with Komui.

"_Allen? Oh, good, come in, come in." Komui set down a sheaf of papers and pushed aside a pile of tomes, gesturing for the silver-haired Exorcist to take a seat on one of the moth-eaten chairs. "I presume Lenalee told you I wanted to see you?"_

"_Yes, sir," Allen replied, feeling uncomfortable at the mention of Lenalee's name. "She didn't say _why_ you wanted to see me, though."_

"_Yes, well, I didn't exactly tell her." Komui looked grave as he cast a glance towards the papers he'd just abandoned. "I'm sure she's as curious as you are."_

_Allen didn't reply._

"_In any case," the supervisor continued, "the matter I wish to discuss with you is of utmost importance. You mustn't breath a word about it to anyone else."_

_His curiosity piqued, Allen nodded slowly. "Of course not."_

_Komui looked pleased at his quick reply and opened his mouth to speak – but just then, a playful breeze swept through the room, scattering the papers Komui had arranged so neatly. Looking startled, Allen leapt to his feet and chased after the wayward sheets, leaping up to catch a few that fluttered teasingly out of his reach._

"_Oh dear," Komui groaned, watching Allen collect the papers, "I'm sorry about that."_

_If you're so sorry, Allen thought, why don't you help me gather them up? He reached down to pick another sheet off the floor and stared at the names written across it in puzzlement._

"_Um, sir… why exactly are you looking up records on my master?"_

_Komui snatched the sheets out of Allen's hands and harrumphed. "Not that it's really any of your business, but you do know that the search for him is still on? For some reason, the people at Central think that information about General Cross would help in the investigation – something about old habits." He waved a hand airily, and Allen almost admired the elder Lee sibling for his lightheartedness._

"_In any case, that's not the only thing I'm researching – but that's none of your business, Allen, so you'd best sit down and I'll tell you why I called you here."_

_Still itching to know about the details of Komui's research, Allen nonetheless took a seat once more and watched Komui carefully. Was he going to question him on his master? Was that why Komui had called him here? It probably wouldn't help – the things Allen knew about his master were probably present in the records room, unless Komui wanted a list of Cross's numerous debts._

"_I've noticed," Komui began sternly, "that you've been spending a lot of time with my Lenalee lately."_

_Allen stared at the supervisor, fighting to keep his jaw from dropping. Komui had requested an urgent meeting with him just to tell him to keep away from his sister?!_

"_In any case," the bespectacled man continued, "I've also noticed how you've begun to act differently around her. You're far more casual with her than you used to be." He peered suspiciously at Allen over the top of his glasses. "Needless to say, this concerns me."_

_Allen opened his mouth to speak, but Komui raised one hand to silence him. "Now, I can understand that you probably do not want me to talk to you about this." Komui's lips thinned, and Allen noticed how he hadn't beat him over the head with a paperweight yet. "Admittedly, things at your age can seem very, ah, complicated…"_

_Allen's eyes bugged out of his head. Where the hell was Komui going with this?_

"_Wait, wait, wait!" Allen interrupted, flailing his arms comically. "What are you talking about? Why aren't you attacking me?" As soon as the words escaped his mouth, he flushed a dull red and mentally cursed himself._

"_Attacking you?" Komui looked perplexed. "Why would I attack you?"_

"_Ahh… no reason," Allen muttered. Komui stared at him oddly._

"_Oh – I suppose you mean because of my Lenalee." Komui sighed – it was a mournful sound. "I always knew I couldn't keep her forever… and indeed, Allen, at least I know you won't try anything with her." He raised his eyebrows quizzically. "You won't, will you?"_

"_N-no… of course not…"_

"_Good!" Komui reached across the table and patted him on the head. "But be warned, boy – I don't give second chances!"_

_You don't have to worry about that,_ Allen thought dully. _I won't get even one chance._

Lenalee most probably loathed him, and he couldn't blame her. Komui would be thrilled to be able to keep his sister to himself.

_But as long as she's safe…_

Allen sighed and turned a corner, his eyebrows lifting and his nose twitching as he smelled a familiar scent.

_The cafeteria!_ Oh, joy.

He made his way into the room and immediately approached Jerry. The cook beamed at him fondly and brought out a notepad and a pencil from somewhere, setting the graphite tip to the paper in expectation of Allen's huge order.

"Ahh… I'm sorry, Jerry-san… I'm not very hungry today." Allen offered him a faint smile. "I'll come back later, though." He turned and walked towards the tables, leaving behind a stupefied Jerry.

Allen was about to sit at an empty table when he heard his name being called from across the room – "Allen! Hey, Allen!"

He turned, a faint smile crossing his face at the sight of Lavi waving his arm in the air. The junior Bookman grinned in his direction and gestured for him to join his table. Allen changed destinations and headed towards the red-haired Exorcist, not noticing the girl sitting next to him.

"Hey, Lavi," he greeted him with a smile, settling down across from him. "How are you – "

_Oh, damn._

Lenalee fixed him with a detached gaze for a heartbeat and then returned her eyes to her food. Allen flinched and jerked his head away, his cheeks heating up. Lavi stared at his friend in confusion.

"Allen? Hey, what's up, man?"

"Nothing," he mumbled, turning back to face Lavi. "I'm fine."

Lavi cocked his head. "Sure, whatever you say," he replied skeptically. "Anyway, hey, I heard you went to see Komui. Did you tell him about the mission?"

"Did I… oh, no, I forgot," Allen admitted. While what had been occupying his mind wasn't necessarily more important than the retrieval of Innocence, it was slightly more interesting – if heartbreaking – to think about.

"Sorry, Lavi. I'll let him know the next time I see him, although one of the Finders might've already told him."

"Oh, yeah." Lavi gave a quick, easy grin, his thoughtful green eyes moving from Allen to Lenalee. "Of course."

The tips of Allen's ears felt uncomfortably warm. "So, what did Bookman have to say about that akuma?"

"Oh, nothing at all – the old geezer's totally unconcerned, says it's nothing unusual." Lavi began regaling them with tales of Bookman's indifference, and Allen took the opportunity to sneak a glance towards the female Exorcist.

Lenalee stabbed a piece of bread with her fork and raised the utensil, her eyes firmly fixed on her food. Allen's stomach flipped. _She's obviously still annoyed._

Why couldn't she understand that he just wanted to protect her from himself?

_I don't know how the 14th thinks… I don't _think _he's evil, not if he wanted to get rid of the Earl… but… can I say that for sure?_

"Allen?" Lavi stared at him again. "Are you listening to me?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah," Allen replied absently. A secretive smile crept across Lavi's face.

"So, what do you think, huh?" the junior Bookman asked playfully. Allen blinked, fumbling for an answer that wouldn't betray his attention span.

"I, uh, think you're absolutely right."

Lavi gave a hoot of laughter. "Hear that, Lenalee?" he crowed, elbowing the girl playfully. "He agrees!"

Lenalee looked faintly amused. "C'mon, Lavi, you know he wasn't paying attention," she gently berated her friend. Lavi grinned widely.

"Who's to say he wasn't?"

"Wait, what?" Allen felt a brief flare of panic. "What are you talking about?"

Lavi merely shook his head and grinned again. Lenalee sighed.

"Immature Lavi here just said that he thought you have feelings for me," the dark-haired girl spoke coolly. Despite her obvious attempts to remain indifferent, a faint flush of pink colored her cheeks. "And you, obviously, just agreed."

Allen felt his insides squirm. This wasn't getting any better. He abruptly got to his feet, giving Lavi a slight nod.

"Sorry, I should be going."

"Wait a minute – did I offend you? C'mon, man, you know I was just joking around!"

"I know." Allen flashed him a quick smile. "I know, believe me." Gathering his nerve, he turned to Lenalee. "Could I have a word with you in private?" he asked her, half-hoping she would say no.

Lenalee looked up. "Yeah, sure," she replied, shoving aside her almost-empty plate and getting to her feet. "I'll be right back, Lavi."

"Take your time." Lavi offered Allen a wink and leaned back, his arms crossed behind his head. Allen felt himself flush again.

_Darn my red blood cells…_

He led Lenalee towards the cafeteria doors and exited the room, pausing a couple of feet away from the doors. People bustled about, but most of them were too intent on their destination to offer the two teenagers any more than a cursory glance.

"Lenalee…" Allen inhaled deeply. "Look, I know you're still mad at me…"

"Mad?" Lenalee blinked and raised her eyebrows. "Oh, I'm not mad, Walker-san."

He winced at the formal name.

"No," she continued, and here her voice acquired a tinge of sadness, "I think I'm more disappointed than anything else."

_Disappointed?_ Allen stared at her in complete bemusement.

Lenalee noticed his blank look and shook her head slightly. "It's just – I never thought you'd be so afraid of something that you'd foist the blame on someone else," she clarified, looking tired. "I never thought you were such a coward, Al – Walker-san."

She bit her lower lip, folding her arms and looking at him challengingly. Allen narrowed his eyes at her, unable to grasp her meaning.

"What are you talking about?"

Lenalee sighed, sounding like a harried mother. "I mean," she replied slowly, "that I think you're afraid of caring for me, and you're trying to blame it all on the 14th so I'll forget about you."

"What?!" Allen squeaked, far too surprised at her words to care about the fact that his voice had just gone up an octave. "What the – what gave you that idea?"

She closed her eyes. "Because what you told me doesn't make any sense," she explained wearily. "The 14th isn't interested in me. Even if he was – on the off chance that I could help him defeat the Earl, or whatever – do you really think he'd make you go this far to follow me? He wouldn't have needed to do anything. We're friends – of course we're going to be close. Why would he make you think you had feelings for me?"

"Wait a minute – I never said I had feelings for you," Allen protested weakly. She opened her eyes and stared at him pointedly.

"Oh, wait – yes I did," he muttered, feeling his cheeks heat up _again_. Lenalee gave a small smile.

"I don't think you're giving enough credit to yourself," she said. "Just because he somehow implanted his memories into you, doesn't mean that he's been controlling you all along. You're still _you_."

He swallowed, acutely aware of her gaze on him.

"I've known how I feel about you for a while now," she admitted, leaning back so that her back rested against the wall behind her. "Once I came to terms with my feelings, I didn't see any reason to hide them from you – except for the fact that we're in the middle of a war, and telling you might have caused problems. So I didn't tell you. I figured – I'll tell him after this is all over, so that if he feels the same way, we can have a chance at happiness." She shrugged. "But circumstances have led to this, not to mention the fact that you are extremely thick-headed sometimes."

"I'm not thick-headed!" he protested. Lenalee laughed softly, and he felt himself grow warm inside at the sound – but it was a different kind of warmth from the hotness he felt in his cheeks. This warmth was comfortable.

"You have no idea," she said affectionately. "No idea at all."

Allen swallowed again, moving a fraction of an inch closer. "Lenalee, listen…"

"Ssh." She shook her head. "When – if – you say it, I want you to be sure about it, okay?" She gave him a faint smile. "So make it good, Allen Walker." She pushed herself off the wall and headed towards the cafeteria once more.

_She'd called him Allen._

Allen blinked and ran after her, catching a hold of one hand. "Wait!" he spoke, tugging gently on her wrist to bring her to a halt. Lenalee stopped and turned to look at him, confusion evident in her gaze.

Allen responded by pulling her closer. He didn't try to kiss her – not yet, in any case. He just hugged her to him, shutting his eyes and enjoying her closeness. Her startled exclamation went unheard, and a few pointed whispers from passerby were deemed unimportant as well.

Finally, he pulled away, his hand still around her wrist. "Just give me some time," he said quietly, feeling a little awkward after hugging her so intimately. "And I promise, when all this is over, I'll find you."

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**AN: Probably not the best ending. I think the first part was better. ^^;; You were right, **_**Swift-Star9**_** – the 14th really isn't that malicious at all. I'm sorry if I portrayed him like that earlier, and I'm sorry if I portrayed him like that in this piece. I'm just not sure **_**what**_** to think of him, or how to write him!**

**Please, let me know about my characterization! Did I make Allen too idiotic? Did I make Lenalee forgive him too easily? Did I make either of them too sentimental? Did I make Komui too reasonable? (Ha, ha…) I'd like to know!**

**2,338 words.**


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